wisdom to win

 Wisdom to Win
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Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People (1936)

 Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People (1936)

American self-improvement expert (pictured right) who spent 15 years preparing this first and hugely popular book.

He died in 1955.

 

See also...

Dale Carnegie in the Management Gurus section. 

 

Book summary

 

How to be successful and influentialDale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People (1936)

 

1. Motivate yourself and improve

  • evaluate your performance continually.
  • reward yourself for good behaviour.

 

2. Stay coolDale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People (1936)

  • avoid arguments.
  • don’t criticize people unduly.
  • accept that they are naturally emotional and full of prejudice, pride and vanity.
  • be tactful, understanding and self-controlled.

 

3. Win people’s heartsDale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People (1936)

  • appreciate (with heartfelt sincerity)
  • feel excited about what people say and do (never say ‘You’re wrong’).
  • smile sincerely.
  • listen patiently with an open mind.
  • make people feel important.
  • use their first name and encourage them to talk a lot, particularly about themselves.

 

4. Empower others with humility, trust and respectDale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People (1936)

  • convince people that your ideas are theirs.
  • encourage and praise them.
  • never humiliate anyone.
  • talk about your mistakes before mentioning theirs.
  • admit that you’re wrong quickly and emphatically.

Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People (1936) 

5. Empathize

  • always see other people’s point of view.
  • be sympathetic with their ideas and desires.

 Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People (1936)

6. Sell yourself

Be a showman and dramatize your ideas.

But remember “you can’t win an argument”, because you:

  • lose it, or
  • make the other person feel inferior.

 

7. Co-operateDale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People (1936)

  • emphasize the thing on which you agree.
  • get the other person saying ‘Yes, yes’.

 

8. Never stop learningDale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People (1936)

Listen to and learn from other people.

“Ask questions instead of giving orders”, says Carnegie.

 

Key quotes on influencing people

There is only one way... to get anybody to do anything... that is by making the other person want to do it.

The only way on earth to influence other people is to talk about what they want and show them how to get it.

Your smile is a messenger of your good will.

The rare individual who unselfishly tries to serve others has an enormous advantage. He has little competition.

 

Key quotes on relationships and friendship

If you want to make friends, let’s greet people with animation and enthusiasm.

If we want to make friends, let's put ourselves out to do things for other people.

 

Key quote on customers

Showing a genuine interest in others not only wins friends for you but may develop in its customers a loyalty to your company.

 

Key quote on communication

Pay less attention to what men say. Just watch they do.

 

Key quote on management

Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.

 

Key quote on positive thinking

It isn't what you have, or who you are, or where you are, or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about.

 

 

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