wisdom to win

 Wisdom to Win
search bar left
search bar right
 

Carl Rogers - Psychology, Psychotherapy and HappinessCarl Rogers - Psychology, Psychotherapy and Happiness

 

Carl Rogers (1902-87)

 

American psychologist.

One of the founders of psychotherapy that encourages people to sort out their problems with the help of a therapist.

Like Abraham Maslow (pictured right below), Rogers believed that everyone is:

  • basically good. Carl Rogers - Psychology, Psychotherapy and Happiness
  • capable of maximizing their potential and happiness.

 

His most famous book is…

On Becoming a Person (1961).

 

What did he tell us about happiness and human potential?

 Carl Rogers - Psychology, Psychotherapy and Happiness

1. “Incongruity”

This is the gap between your:

  • real self (what I am), and
  • ideal self (what I should be).

As this gap increases, you will be

  • unhappier.
  • more anxious. Carl Rogers - Psychology, Psychotherapy and Happiness

Unhappiness also results from using “defences” to deal with problems - for example:

  • blocking out a problem (“denial”).
  • blaming other people for it.
  • distorting reality (“perceptual distortion”).

The only solution is what Rogers called “client-centred” psychotherapy, where the therapist:Carl Rogers - Psychology, Psychotherapy and Happiness

  • listens to a client’s problems.
  • talks through them with compassion and understanding.

So, the therapist must have three qualities:

  • congruence (total sincerity and honesty with the client).
  • empathy (the ability to feel what the client feels).
  • respect (acceptance and unconditional support for the client - see point 2).

 Carl Rogers - Psychology, Psychotherapy and Happiness

2. “Positive self-regard”

This is what he called self-respect and is extremely important.

It comes from the “positive regard” of others, particularly family and friends.

They just love you for who you are (unconditional love), not on the condition that you do something for them (conditional love) .

Conditional love leads to people doing what pleases others, not what is best for them.

 

3. The “fully functioning person”

This is what he called someone who is psychologically healthy and happy.

Six things make this happen:

 Carl Rogers - Psychology, Psychotherapy and Happiness

a) openness to experience

  • accept and learn from an accurate perception of your experiences including your real feelings towards others.
  • understand people by seeing their point of view.
  • act on the basis of who you really are (including your weaknesses and how other people see you).

 Carl Rogers - Psychology, Psychotherapy and Happiness

b) live fully in the present (and face reality)

  • the past and future are only important, if they affect you now, e.g. learning from your past mistakes.
  • abandon your pre-conceived ideas and see the world as it really is.

 

c) trust yourself to make yourself happy (so long as you accept the two points above)

Be prepared to change and be patient, because your problems are likely to take a long time to solve.

 Carl Rogers - Psychology, Psychotherapy and Happiness

d) freedom

  • feel free to make your own choices.
  • take responsibility for them.

 

e) creativity

  • do new things to help the lives of others.
  • fulfil your potential (the “actualizing tendency”, similar to Maslow’s self-actualization).

 Carl Rogers - Psychology, Psychotherapy and Happiness

f) courage and determination

  • push yourself to do your best and live the most interesting and useful life possible.
  • have the courage to be the person you want to be.

 


Key quote on learning

Experience is, for me, the highest authority.

 

Key quote on change

When I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.
 
The only person who is educated is the one who has learned how to learn and change.

 

Key quote on positive thinking

When I look at the world I'm pessimistic, but when I look at people I am optimistic.

 

Key quote on happiness

The good life is a process, not a state of being.

 

Key quote on peace of mind

The only person that cannot be helped is that person who blames others.

 

Free Newsletter
Enter your name and e-mail address to receive our free newsletter with analysis of business issues and new business books

Quotes